Out Of Time

Time has no compassion. It will never slow down, not even for a minute, not even to let you step back and get a grip. Time has a schedule to keep and that is all that matters. As far as Time is concerned, nothing happens a moment too soon, or too late for that matter.
I know.
Believe me I know.
I’ve been begging that mother fucker to just hold off for a second and not be rushing me so much. Why the hell is Time in such a hurry anyway? It’s not like Time has any place to go. Shit, Time can go fuck itself. It’s not like I’m scared or anything. I just want to make sure my thoughts are in order when the lights go out. I don’t need Time messing up my repentance.
That’s right I said it.
Repentance.
So what? It don’t take no Sherlock Holmes to figure out where I’m going with this shit. Nobody ever lets out the truth, except maybe the crazies, but I ain’t no crazy. I just got to get it out and I know you ain’t gonna be blabbing to no one. You're stuck inside this Hellhole just like me. Even if you got out, nobody is going to pay attention to you no how. Shit, you ‘probably ain’t nothing more than something I made up. You aint’ shit.
Damn it!
Sorry about that. I didn’t mean any disrespect. I’m just a little strained. It’s that mother fucker Time, all pushing at me and shit. Really I’m sorry.
Please, sit back down. It’s cool.
Thanks, I appreciate it, I really do. I have to get this off my chest.
I didn’t even know the lady. She just caught my eye. Maybe it was the checkered Capri pants propping up her MILF ass, plumped a bit by middle age and a couple of kids, but still sexy from three days at the gym every week? Maybe it was how she forgot to lock her car? She did have on a tight shirt that was cut low in the front, you know the kind. The ones that show just enough tit to make you stare at them trying to figure out what the rest of them look like, but that wasn’t it. I think that the voices in my head voted and she was elected.
She didn’t even notice me or my stare. She just walked into the automatic entrance like it was an ordinary day. I sniffed heavy as she passed, feasting on the scent of sweaty tulips that trailed behind her. She was plain, but far from ordinary. She was exquisite. Her beauty probably went unnoticed by most eyes, only to be regretted, like the sunrise a dying man never saw or the child a mother never bore. I could see her for what she really was. She was a temptress, just oozing sex, thinking her housewife costume concealed the whore within.
I followed her around as she shopped, making sure not to get to close. She never had a clue I was watching her. I saw how she pretended to shop, flipping through clothes and checking out toasters, but I was on to her. I could see past her casual façade, disgusted by her screaming advertisement to fornicate with anyone but her husband.
She strutted around for over an hour then pushed her cart through the checkout. I was already in the parking lot when she emerged from the automatic hole and made her way to her car. She was oblivious to the body, dripping in nervous sweat, closing in behind her.
When she opened the back door and started filling it with plastic bags, I closed in and pushed her flat against the back seat. My right arm forced her face deep into the leather, muffling any screams for help. I turned her upright sliding my hand over her mouth. The black of her eyes, gaping wide with panic, held me for a second and she almost seemed human.
I pummeled her face until she was unconscious.
I pulled the keys from her hand and folded the rest of her into the car. The back door bounced back, so I reached in and stuffed her in deeper, then slammed it shut. I gave the parking lot a quick scan, then slid into the driver side seat.
I’ll admit it; I almost lost it for a second. I let the situation hit me. My hand shook like crazy as I tumbled the keys between my fingers. I stabbed a couple of non winners at the ignition switch like an amateur until the whole key ring popped out of my sweaty hand and hit the floor mat.
I stopped, sat up straight and remembered how to breathe. I angled the rearview mirror down a bit until it offered me the reflection of that godless whore in the back seat. Her unconscious body quivered slightly in the rectangle. She was out. I was good to go. I reached down and picked up the keys. The one for the ignition was obvious in the calm and I headed out of the parking lot like an everyday consumer.
It was only fifteen miles back to my place, but no mother fucking lie, I must have seen twenty cops along the way.
Fuck yeah! It made me nervous, but they weren’t interested.
I just kept it under the speed limit and slid home safe and quiet like.
I pulled the car way out back and parked it between my wood shed and the forest where nobody could see it. She was still out cold when I pulled her out of the car. I balanced her over my right shoulder and staggered over to the double doors. They were unlocked so I pulled them open and flopped her down on the floor. I shut the doors behind me and locked them from the inside. Everything went pitch black, but it was just like the back of my hand and I grabbed the Coleman lantern right where it was supposed to be. I sparked up that lantern and laid it on the floor.
I remembered laughing because the light from the Coleman flickered and made everything look like a home movie.
I wrapped ten circles of duct tape around her wrists and twelve circles around her ankles to keep the bitch from going anywhere. Fuck if I ain’t careful. I stuffed an old sock into her mouth and secured it with three circles of tape around her head. I grabbed a pair of heavy fabric scissors off of my work bench. They sliced easily through her clothing and I started pealing it away from her body. When she was naked, except for her socks pinned under the duct tape, I stood up and looked down at her. She was almost hog tied and gagged with a sock, twisted in a reverse fetal, splayed out like the whore she was.
I gargled up a lugie and spit it down at her. It clammed down just south of her right temple and started to teardrop like cold syrup across her face.
She didn’t move.
I didn’t think it was fair to let her sleep through final stage of her life. I grabbed a can of gasoline and splashed it gently over her face. She wiggled from the sting, and then flung her eyes wide open with awareness. I could smell her fear. She glared up at me and screamed into the sock.
I knelt down and straddled her, book casing her with my knees. She flailed about, screaming hopeless pleas into dirty laundry.
Suddenly she stopped. I thought she was just accepting her fate.
Good for her!
I pushed apart her knees and starting giving the whore the fornication she wanted.
She didn’t protest. No screams, no squirming, no nothing.
She just went vacant.
I went limp.
Fuck you! It happens. The bitch wasn’t fighting back. I need that shit.
I stood up.
I could see her face twist around the laughter she was trying to push past the sock.
Fuck her man.
Nobody laughs at me.
I got mad and I got sloppy.
I plugged in a circular saw and cut off her feet. She wasn’t laughing any more. She was wide eyed with shock and staring at the doorway of death. I snipped the tape holding in the sock and pulled it out of her mouth. I wanted to hear her confess her sins and beg.
She just pleaded for her life.
That wasn’t good enough.
I sliced her up like she was a Christmas ham.
After it was done, I looked at all the blood. I knew I was fucked. That chicks DNA was splattered all over my shed. I walked back to my house and called 911.
That’s it.
Now it’s my turn.
Just a few more minutes until they light me up with high voltage and baked me in a casserole for God.
So anyway. When they come and take me down the hall, don’t say I cried. Tell them I said something important.